Being the only kid in school with type 1 diabetes

I was diagnosed when I was in grade 2 (Sub B back in the days). I was in hospital for 7 days and out of school for 5 days (there was a weekend in there somewhere). We were seated based on our weekly test scores. Being the 'over-achiever' I always wanted to sit in the 'A' group but because I was out of school for a whole week I was seated with the kids that obtained low test scores when I got back. I mean, was it not bad enough that I had diabetes and had to get injections - now I had to not be in the 'A' group as well?

Source: on-line-meds.com

My mom received books to give my teachers so that they could be educated about my diabetes as well. At that time I was the only kid with diabetes in the entire school. My mom was concerned that the other kids would tease me about having diabetes and that I had to take injections. So she felt that it was best for me not to tell the other kids. I could understand why she didn't want me to be potentially teased. I was already a 'nerd' and I guess being called the 'injecting kid' could have done a lot to damage my self esteem.

I told a few of my closest friends though. Now my lunchbox has things in for snack time (1st break) like provita and cheese and a sandwich for lunch (2nd break). The idea that I had to inject (I was using actrapid and syringes at the time - pensets weren't available to me yet) and the automatic glucose meter wasn't around either. So I had to prick my finger and put it on a strip, turn over an egg timer (that was given to me at hospital), wipe off the blood, then match my colour on the strip to the colour on the testing strip bottle to get an idea of what my blood sugar was. Luckily I only had to get injections in the morning and in the evening so I didn't have to inject at school. I actually didn't start doing my injections until a lot later.

I also thought that pricking at the tip of my finger would be more painless, little did I know that the sides would be better as the nerve endings are at the tip. The sister told me to prick at the sides but I didn't believe her. I learnt that painful lesson now though but beside the pain I still didn't want to test. I actually just tested  before I had to see the doctor and made up the rest for my book. My mom begged and bribed and threatened me to test but I just didn't want to for many reasons.

Now I do because technology has made it easier and because I want to live a healthy and happy life. Not because of my parents or anyone else but because I deserve it :) I've realised that I cannot make this happen without taking care of myself and making minor adjustments for my condition. So I test a lot so that I can know and so that I don't end up like so many other people with diabetes who have amputations and can't see. Because I can decide to make my life the way I want it. Sure it would be easier if I did not have diabetes but I do have it and it's my choice what I do with it.

So why did I have diabetes? I know that it runs in my family but why did none of my cousins or brother (he didn't have diabetes at the time) have it either? Did I do something wrong or was God/Allah just punishing and rejecting me?  WHY ME??? Sure I wasn't perfect and I wasn't good all the time but I wasn't bad either. God/Allah is supposed to be good but this sure felt like He was being bad to me. I went through that, asking it several times for many years.

I'm a lot older now and I've realised many things:

1. God/Allah is not punishing me and is not deserting me either, my condition is actually just a way of bringing me closer to Him. I pray when I inject or test and I wouldn't have been so aware or grateful before.
2. I'm far more appreciative of what I have than I would've been if I didn't have diabetes. Actually I probably just would have ended up being an ungrateful and unappreciative brat.
3. I know that I am more blessed than most people - I can see, hear, walk and there is nothing that I cannot accomplish, provided I work for it.
4. Sometimes there are people who have a harder time but they still smile at me and encourage me. So why can't I be the same?
5. I am not given more challenges than I am able to bare. Having this condition has taught me many life lessons and one of them being that - no matter what life puts in my path I can overcome it and exceed my greatest expections.

I got past the teasing, got back into the 'A' group and have overcome many things in my life. It's not impossible, although it's not always easy. Sometimes I still wish I didn't have diabetes but I'm far more accepting of my condition. I no longer keep things for a special occasion (ok , sometimes I do but it's less now) every day that I'm living is an occasion to be celebrated. I am alive, I am healthy, I have a God/Allah who loves me and so many other blessing that I cannot count. I have food, water, a home and love unlike millions of other kids and people throughout the world.

So why me? The answer is - sometimes we need tough lessons to make us stronger. I was sent this email and it expresses what I've said - just a lot better.

Smooth roads never make good drivers.

Smooth seas never make good sailors.

Clear Skies never makes good Pilots.

Problem and hassle free Life never makes a strong person.

Be Strong enough to accept the challenges of Life

Don't ask Life, "Why Me?   Instead say "Try Me!"

Have a wonderful day!!!

Here is another motivating email that someone emailed me -

One day I decided to quit....
I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality. ..
I wanted to quit my life.
I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.
'God', I asked, 'Can you give me one good reason not to quit?'
His answer surprised me...

'Look around', He said. 'Do you see the fern and the bamboo?'
'Yes', I replied.
'When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds,
I took very good care of them.
I gave them light.
I gave them water.
The fern quickly grew from the earth.
Its brilliant green covered the floor.
Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed.
But I did not quit on the bamboo.

In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.
And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed.
But I did not quit on the bamboo', He said.
'In year three, there was still nothing from the bamboo seed.
But I would not quit.
In year four, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed.
I would not quit.' He said.

'Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared
to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant. ..
But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.
It had spent the five years growing roots.
Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive.
'I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not
handle.'
He asked me.
'Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling,
you have actually been growing roots'.
'I would not quit on the bamboo.
I will never quit on you.'
'Don't compare yourself to others.'
He said.
'The bamboo had a different Purpose than the fern.
Yet they both make the forest beautiful.'
'Your time will come',
God said to me.
'You will rise high'
'How high should I rise?'  I asked.
'How high will the bamboo rise?' He asked in return.
'As high as it can?' I questioned.
'Yes.'
He said,
'Give me glory by rising as high as you can.'
I left the forest and brought back this story.
I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on
you.
Never, Never, Never Give up.
For the Prayer is not an option but an opportunity.
Don't tell the Lord how big the problem is,
tell the problem how Great the Lord is!
Heavens door opened this morning,
God asked me...
My CHILD... what can I do for you?'
and I said
'Protect and bless the one reading this message.
God smiled and answered ...
'REQUEST GRANTED'